... or whatever the hell the devil calls himself

01. give more fucks. don't be a self-centered ass, that will not earn you points with people. and i know you don't like people in general, but you need them.

02. write more. write more. write more. WRITE MORE. WRITE MORE. is that clear enough?

03. exercise more. come summer you will have the body of a gladiator (or maybe not quite so muscular, but still) or there will be pain. mark my words.

04. did i mention give more fucks?

05. oh and maybe start on that comic project you've been working on and off for the past two years, you lazy fuck. that shit ain't gonna draw itself, you know.

③ 750 words. Thanks to this website (though I've yet to figure out exactly how it does it), I've been writing 800+ words a day, every day. You can't imagine the sense of accomplishment I get when I run a word count in Word and my daily quota is filled! I know 750 words (or 800 for that matter) isn't much to most of you, but I'm a slow writer.

The magical part? I haven't written a single word on that site. I didn't even make an account. I know it gives you a text processor or something to write your daily 750 words in and it saves stuff automatically and whatnot, but I don't need any of that to get me to write. Just knowing that a website like this exists is more than enough.

This is how magic works, guys.

② Random Phrase dot com. It generates random catchy phrases like it says in the website title, but what it really does is magically inspire me to write cracky stories.

I am dead serious, guys. It does that.

① Terribleminds is Chuck Wendig's place on the Internet where he talks about writing and drinking and writing while drunk and getting drunk on writing and other such glorious things and I just. have. no. words. for how much I love this site and how much it inspires me.

Also he does this thing called Flash Fiction Challenge which got me to write a weird as all hell story about superheroes in a noir setting? I. don't. even. know.

But it was so much fun ahhhhhhhhhh.